Almost
Not quite; very nearly.
According to the English Oxford Dictionary, that's what "ALMOST" means.
I love you but not quite.
We're together but not really.
Almost relationships are the commas, semi-colons, and parentheses of life. They are the sentences that seem to be coming to an end but become run-ons instead. They are the ellipses and the question marks; statements that are unsure with no clear closure.
I asked a few of my trusted friends about what their thoughts are on the subject.
"I think it's okay as long as you don't invest so much."
"As long as there's an agreement between both parties, it's fine."
"It's nice but fleeting."
"It's fine but only in the beginning."
Here are my thoughts:
It might be okay as long as you don't invest so much. But the reality is, you will find yourself investing more than you anticipated. More than you should. Almost relationships can be beneficial just as they can be dangerous. If you're in it to get to know each other and figure out whether or not you want to be together, then it's fine. It's healthy. It's part of the process. But, when you are in it just because you don't want to commit (or can't) and you drag on a dying relationship that's going nowhere, then it's pointless. It's toxic. Some almost relationships aren't fleeting. Some last and linger. Don't waste your heart and get out. Both you and your partner deserve better.
Almost relationships are messy. You need the validation but it's not always there. You start having expectations but all you get is disappointed. You start demanding with no right to do so. There needs to be an agreement between you and your partner. The hard part is following through on your word. If you agree to wait then wait but do so with awareness and discernment. If you agree to only be friends then be nothing but. Stay within your boundaries. If you're starting to get serious or have been "together" for a while but you still don't have a label, then you're treading dangerous waters. At some point, you have to ask yourself (and your partner) where you two really stand. It's either you're together or you're not.
In almost relationships, you get the adrenaline rush and the butterflies. But just like with any other high, there's a crash. In almost relationships, someone always ends up hurt. And the pain isn't "not quite" or "very nearly"; it's there. It's tangible and you physically feel your heart breaking. Often times, it's the most hurt you have ever felt.
Your heart is sacred and it should not be treated as less than that, not even by you. Give it to someone who acknowledges this and acts on it as you do the same with them. Don't settle for an almost relationship. Invest in an always relationship instead. Take your time to get to know each other. If neither of you is ready for a real and official relationship, then stay as friends. Being in the friendzone isn't a bad thing. It's where you really get to know someone as they are without the goal of impression or the illusion of attraction. Relationships that stem from friendships are more honest and transparent. Clarify your intentions with each other. Trust yourself. Believe that you are worth more than the uncertainty. That you are worth working for. That you are worth waiting for. That you are worth praying for. Believe all this as you remind yourself that your partner merits the same.