I never really expected myself to feel this way because I’ve gotten so used to the idea that it never gets serious at this point in my life. Unfortunately, life has a wicked sense of humor. I can’t sleep. My whole sleeping sched is out of wack, which could be due to jetlag but I think there’s a bigger reason behind this. My appetite seems to keep getting lost somewhere in this maze of a world. Breathing gets harder to do like my heart suddenly became so heavy that it’s crushing my lungs and somewhat suffocating me. And much to my surprise, the pipelines for my tears are apparently fixed now. It hasn’t even been a week yet since I’ve gotten back in the United American States. I’ve become accustomed to leaving the Philippines that I don’t even cry a single tear when I ride my last flight out. It’s not that I’m heartless or that I’ve grown numb to the situation but because I know I’ll be coming back. However, when the plane leaving Manila was taking off, the droplets of rain that came from my eyes couldn’t be stopped. Ironically, it really was raining when we were headed for San Francisco as if my departure was such a sad thing that even the clouds were crying. It took me a few seconds to figure out that I wasn’t crying because I felt the need to or even simply because I just felt like it. Something was different about this time. Something in my life has caused this change. And, after a little while, I realized that it’s because I now have a legitimate reason to.